CA 1992
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
They gave me a medal for killing two men and a discharge for loving one.
-- Epitaph for Vietman hero Leonard Matlovich
STATISTICS FOR THE DAY
Ratio of the lethal dose to effective dose for selected drugs (that is, a
comparison of the amount that will kill you to the amount needed just to work):
Aspirin: 20:1
Alcohol: 10:1
Marijuana: 10,000:1
-- Reason
TOAST FOR THE DAY
The world is full of winners and losers. Here's hoping you're one of 'em.
-- Norm Petersen
STATISTIC FOR THE DAY
Number of times that God, in the form of a green cloud, appeared in Barry
Davis' gas station service bay and told him to close on Sundays: 1
-- WSJ
STATISTICS FOR THE DAY
Number of black men, per 100,000, incarcerated in South Africa: 681
Number of black men, per 100,000, incarcerated in the United States: 3,370
-- The Sentencing Project (Washington)
STATISTIC FOR THE DAY
Ratio of the emissions produced by a car driven 50 miles to those
produced by a lawn mower in one hour: 1/1
-- U.S. Environmental Protection Agency
STATISTIC FOR THE DAY
Ratio of Michael Jordan's earnings from product endorsement
(commercials) to his income from playing basketball: 8/1
-- news sources
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
The world isn't run by weapons anymore, or by energy or money. It's run by
little ones and zeros, little bits of data; it's all just electrons. There's
a war out there, old friend, and it's not about who's got the most bullets --
it's about who controls the information: what we see and hear, how we work,
what we think -- it's all about the information!
-- Cosmo, "Sneakers"
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
Free trade, one of the greatest blessings which a government can confer
on a people, is in almost every country unpopular.
-- Thomas Babington, 1824
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
It's a dog-eat-dog world and I'm wearing Milk-Bone underwear.
-- Norm Petersen, "Cheers"
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
(David Koresh's Last Words)
Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Maybe I'm NOT Jesus Christ! Ouch! Ouch!
-- Callahan
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
Software supliers are trying to make their software packages more "user-
friendly".... Their best approach, so far, has been to take all the old
brochures and stamp the words "user-friendly" on the cover.
-- William C. Gates, Microsoft
STATISTIC FOR THE DAY
Number of sponges used by the cleaning crew during the restoration of the
World Trade Center after the bombing: 152,000
-- WSJ
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
None of us [Geraldo, Oprah, Donahue, etc.] would be on the air if the
states of Florida, Texas and California didn't exist. That's where
every bizarre act happens and every weird person alights.
- Maury Povich
STATISTIC FOR THE DAY
Number of seconds it took for Don Calhoun to earn one million dollars
by sinking a basketball in the hoop across almost the entire court: 1.93
-- News sources
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
We all go "do, re, mi," but you got to find the other notes for yourself.
-- Louis Armstrong
RIDDLE FOR THE DAY
Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. It's a hardware problem.
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
Computers are marginally telepathic. If you panic, your computer
will sense it.
-- Charles Koontz
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
[Due to the furor about and subsequent withdrawal of the record with Ice-T's
song, "Cop Killer"], Is it now impossible for an artist to record a song in
which a law-enforcement agent or a government official -- however corrupt,
however brutal, under whatever circumstances, in self-defense or not -- is
killed? Will that unspoken rule apply to Arnold Schwarzeneger as well as
to Ice-T? Why should events in a song be held to a higher moral standard
than those in a movie, a novel, a play or any other work of art?
-- Anthony DeCurtis, "Rolling Stone"
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
Don't let your mouth write no check that your tail can't cash.
-- Bo Diddley
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
Technology, by its nature, is dynamic, forward-looking. Every development,
every invention, every improvement upsets the status quo, changes the
people and society, threatens the Establishment.
-- Ben Bova, editor of Analog
STASTISTIC FOR THE DAY
Average rise in the world's temperature over the past 100 years, in degrees: 1
-- National Geographic, USA Today
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles.
-- Frank Lloyd Wright
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
A new scientific truth does not triumph by convincing its opponents and making
them see the light, but rather because its opponents eventually die, and a new
generation grows up that is familiar with it.
-- Max Planck
STATISTIC FOR THE DAY
Estimated ratio of bearded-or-mustachioed to clean-shaven men at the Harley
Owner's Group (HOG) 90th anniversary rally in Milwaukee last Sunday: 99/1
-- USA Today
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
Give a small boy a hammer and he will find that everything
he encounters needs pounding.
-- Abraham Kaplan
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
Science has proof without any certainty. Creationists have certainty
without proof.
-- Ashley Montague
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
Assuming that either the left wing or the right wing gained control of the
country, it would probably fly around in circles.
-- Pat Paulsen
STATISTIC FOR THE DAY
Number of office buildings named after Michael Jordan: 1
-- NBC
STATISTIC FOR THE DAY
Average amount of corn whiskey consumed by U.S. adult drinkers between the
years 1790 and 1830, per year, in quarts: 24
Average today: 1
-- National Geographic
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
Jesus said, "Love your neighbors." Well, I do love them. I love to kill them.
-- Croatian policeman Dusko Nikolic, about Serbians
STATISTIC FOR THE DAY
Number of hours in the average Japanese work year, expressed as a percentage
of the average U.S. work year: 120
-- Akio Morita, Chairman of Sony Corp.
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
America [about the turn of the Century] seemed as great as the rest of
the world put together...perhaps it because it WAS the rest of the
world put together.
-- Clive James, "Fame in the 20th Century," PBS
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
Everybody wants to be a magician, and those who don't grow up,
become professionals.
-- Harry Blackstone
STATISTICS FOR THE DAY
Nationwide, number of reported cases of foreign objects in Pepsi cans
since early June: 50
Number of cases confirmed by the FBI: 0
Maximum fine for tampering with a Pepsi can: $250,000
Maximum fine for making a false report of tampering: $250,000
-- news sources
STATISTIC FOR THE DAY
Average speed of Heinz ketchup, from the mouth of an upended bottle,
in miles per year: 25
-- Heinz USA
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
I talked to God
On His private line.
He said, "How you doin', Joe?"
I said, "My name is Dave,
And I'm doin' fine."
-- Lu Janis
STATISTIC FOR THE DAY
Hourly wage the Resolution Trust Corporation paid contract workers last year
to photcopy documents: $35
-- U.S. Senate Subcommittee on Regulation and Government Information
STATISTIC FOR THE DAY
Estimated number of body parts suitable for piercing: 30
-- Gauntlet (a New York City jewelry store)
STATISTIC FOR THE DAY
Amount Kim Basinger spends on her pets, per month: $7,000
-- Connie Chung interview
DEFINITION FOR THE DAY
JURASSIC PARK: A creature feature on amphetamines.
-- Terrence Rafferty
COMPUTER/ELECTRONICS QUESTION FOR THE DAY
Superconductors are:
A. Materials that conduct electricity very efficiently at high temperatures.
B. Andre Previn, Seiji Ozawa, Doc Severinsen.
-- Jane Campbell
COMPUTER/ELECTRONICS QUESTION FOR THE DAY
A microchip is:
A. A tiny computer circuit that processes information.
B. A disappointingly small portion of nachos.
-- Jane Campbell
COMPUTER/ELECTRONICS QUESTION FOR THE DAY
A hard drive is:
A. The permanent storage component in a computer.
B. San Francisco to Los Angeles without rest stops.
-- Jane Campbell
STATISTIC FOR THE DAY
Percentage of the world's corn crop that is grown in the U.S. Midwest: 33
-- National Geographic
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
When Japanese auto producers were prevented by [government] quotas from
going for large volumes at low prices, they moved up-market to sell
smaller volumes of higher-priced cars. Rather than competing against the
Americans at their point of weakness -- and thus dramatically improving
the range of value in the automobile market -- the Japanese moved to
compete with the Americans at their point of strength. American
purchasers sent more money to Japan, but they didn't even get more cars.
-- George Gilder, "Uncle Sam Wants Your VCR," 1986
STATISTIC FOR THE DAY
Estimated number of customers served by Nevada's 36 legal
brothels, per month: 10,000
-- George Flint, Nevada Brothel Assn.
STATISTICS FOR THE DAY
Average gain in value of stocks picked by professional financial advisers
in a contest from January through June of this year: -6.6%
Average gain in value of stocks picked at random by the Wall Street Journal
by throwing darts at the stock listings, same time period: +4.7%
-- WSJ
STATISTICS FOR THE DAY
Number of letters received by the White House, per day: 50,000
Number of these letters addressed to Socks: 25
-- Harper's
STATISTICS FOR THE DAY
Average value of the goods and services produced each year
by a full-time Japanese worker: $38,200
...by a full-time American worker: $49,000
-- McKinsey Global Institute (Washington)
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
We have no racial bigotry on Remulak. We are coneheads, not skinheads.
-- Beldar Conehead
RIDDLE FOR THE DAY
Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: How many can you afford?
-- Robin Abcarian
STATISTIC FOR THE DAY
Compared to last year, percentage increase in sales of "Red Stripe"
brand beer after casual mention in the film "The Firm": 53
-- Dateline NBC
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
A government that is big enough to give you all you want
is big enough to take it all away.
-- Sen. Barry Goldwater (Arizona)
DEFINITION FOR THE DAY
BEAVIS AND BUTT-HEAD: Two MTV dudes refreshingly unburdened by knowledge.
-- Howard Rosenberg
NEWS ITEM FOR THE DAY
While perusing the assembly instructions for his new [Yamaha] Electric Grand
keyboard, a reader found a diagram showing assorted pieces of hardware and
labeled with a single Anglo-Saxon word of instruction. We can't repeat the
instruction in this family magazine, but we believe the company meant "screw."
-- Consumer Reports
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
Science...looks skeptically at all claims to knowledge, old and new. It
teaches not blind obedience to those in authority but vigorous debate, and in
many respects that's the secret of its success.
-- Carl Sagan
STATISTIC FOR THE DAY
Current annual growth rate of the Cuban economy: -20%
-- The Universal Almanac
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
Consider, first, the fundamental difference between how entrepreneurs are
rewarded in the marketplace and how government bureaucrats are rewarded in the
public sector. The potential for entrepreneurs' personal gain -- for profit --
increases as they decrease the costs of their operations. So minimizing costs
is their fundamental incentive.
Public-sector managers, by contrast, are generally rewarded in accordance
with the size and scope of their programs -- they stand to gain no profits by
cutting costs. So their incentive is to expand programs and create new
programs -- to increase their budget, that is.
-- Patrick Cox, 1985
STATISTIC FOR THE DAY
Number of mosquitoes that could theoretically exist as offspring
from a single female between now and Labor Day: 16,000,000
Number of additional eggs those offspring could lay before Labor
Day: 3,200,000,000
-- Florida Dept. of Agriculture & Consumer Services
NOW IT CAN BE TOLD!
Meterologists cannot explain why the Midwest should be so wet this year, but
others claim to know:
"God [is] a bit unhappy with our treatment of the unborn and the trashing of
the Judeo-Christian ethic." (Rev. Jerry Falwell)
"The floods are punishment for the killing of innocent Muslims during the
Persian Gulf War." (Imam Jamil al-Amin, formerly H. Rap Brown)
"God is trying to tell us something. Recently Missouri and Illinois have
allowed riverboat gambling..." (Judy Martin, resident of Alton, Illinois)
STATISTIC FOR THE DAY
Enrollment at Miss Vera's Finishing School for Boys Who Want To Be Girls,
in New York City: 100
-- Harper's Index
BARBEQUE COOKING STYLES, a primer
The slow-smoked Texas [BBQ] style will be highly influenced by the wood, while
the faster-cooking St. Louis or Chicago styles will be more influenced by the
sauce. California barbecue is probably most influenced by the astrological
sign of the cook...
-- Richard Foss, Los Angeles Reader
NEWS ITEM FOR THE DAY
Name given to the portable toilets used in Colorado
this week during the Pope's visit: Vat-I-Cans
-- WSJ
NEWS ITEM FOR THE DAY
Surrounded by cops on a Virginia highway, accused drug dealer Alfred E. Acree
Jr. did what any self-respecting suspect would do: he ran like hell. Diving
into a dark wood at night, Acree was no doubt amazed by the swiftness of his
apprehension by county sheriff's deputies -- not realizing that he had
signaled his presence brilliantly with his brand-new L.A. Gear Light Gear
athletic shoes, battery powered so as to illuminate the wearer's every move.
Officers say $800 worth of cocaine was found in Acree's pockets.
-- news sources
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
Religion is far closer to magic than to science.
-- James Randi
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and
hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series
of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.
-- H. L. Mencken
STATISTIC FOR THE DAY
Number of years before all the available combinations of North
American telephone area codes are used up: 2
-- Bellcore
STATISTIC FOR THE DAY
Cost of a like-size rubber replica of a 12-13 week old human fetus, for use
in pro-life rallies and abortion clinic protests, from Museum Replicas,
Urbana, Illinois: $16.25
-- Life Advocate
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
I can't listen to Wagner. I get the urge to conquer Poland.
-- Woody Allen, "Manhattan Murder Mystery"
STATISTIC FOR THE DAY
Estimated number of cows it takes to supply the 22,000 footballs
the NFL uses each season: 3,000
Number of pigs: 0
-- Wilson Sporting Goods Company (Chicago)/Harper's research
RIDDLE FOR THE DAY
Q: How can you tell a real Grateful Dead concert ticket from a counterfeit?
A: Smoke it. Only the real one gets you high.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY (Barth's Distinction)
There are two types of people in this world: those that divide people into
two types, and those who do not.
-- contributed by Frank Kelly
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
I ran into Topo Gigio on the stairs the other day. He was eating a grilled
cheese sandwich. Fat, sloppy...he used to be big.
-- David Letterman, at his new CBS studio, the "Ed Sullivan" Theatre
STATISTIC FOR THE DAY
Number of new jobs created in the United States as a result of the development
of Microsoft Windows, according to MS Chairman Bill Gates: 17,300
-- PC Week
POEM FOR THE DAY ("Romeo and Juliet")
If you will die for me, I will die for you.
and our graves will be like two lovers washing
their clothes together in a laundromat.
If you will bring the soap, I will bring the bleach.
-- Richard Brautigan
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
[As a result of television] we'll have silent football.... The players won't
be bothered by the roar of the crowd, because the crowds will all be watching
at home.... There'll be no one at the game except the sponsor.
-- Robert Saudek of ABC Television, in Time Magazine, 1950
STATISTIC FOR THE DAY
Conviction rate of criminal prosecutions in Japan, percent: 99
-- news sources
STATISTIC FOR THE DAY
Proportion of American malls that are smoke-free: 1/3
-- news sources
STATISTIC FOR THE DAY
Amount spent by General Motors for employee health costs, per car sold: $700
-- Time
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
If devotion to truth is the hallmark of morality, then there is no greater,
nobler, more heroic form of devotion than the act of a man who assumes the
responsibiltiy of thinking...the alleged short-cut to knowledge, which is
faith, is only a short-circuit destroying the mind.
-- Ayn Rand
QUOTE FOR THE DAY (Time Will Tell Dept.)
You know, we're going to have to work very hard to make this work.
-- Israel Foreign Minister Shimon Peres
I know. I'm prepared to do my part.
-- PLO Chairman Yasser Arafat
-- NBC News
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
The essence of our political theory in this country is that a man's conscience
shall be a private, not a public affair, and that only his deeds and words
shall be open to survey, to censure and to punishment...One need only watch
totalitarians at work to see that once men gain power over other men's minds,
that power is never used sparingly and wisely, but lavishly and brutally and
with unspeakable results. If I must declare today that I am not a Communist,
tomorrow I shall have to testify that I am not a Unitarian. And the day after,
that I have never belonged to a dahlia club. It is not a crime to believe
anything at all in America.
-- E.B. White, 1947
STATISTIC FOR THE DAY
Number of states that allow parents to refuse medical care
for their children on religious grounds: 44
-- James Randi, "The Faith Healers"
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
Women have to be in the mood for sex. Men have to be in the room.
-- "The Mommies," NBC
QUOTES FOR THE DAY
[If NAFTA passes] you will hear a "giant sucking sound" of jobs going south of
the border...
-- H. Ross Perot
The sucking sound you hear is 85 million Mexicans sucking on U.S. straws,
drinking their U.S. colas and eating their hamburguesas from McDonalds.
-- Don Nibbe, publisher of "Twin Plant News"
STATISTIC FOR THE DAY
Amount the U.S. government spends annually to maintain the strategic helium
reserve in Texas, originally created in 1925 to provide gas for the Army's
dirigibles: $16,000,000
-- The Milwaukee Journal
STATISTICS FOR THE DAY (Love is Bad, Violence is Good Dept.)
Number of ABC TV stations that declined to show "NYPD Blue" last night,
"A few baroque swear words, a mildly sensuous lovemaking scene..." : 40
Number of CBS TV stations that declined to show "Donato and Daughter"
last night, "with a body count of four mutilated nuns and a pregnant cop
shot in the belly...": 0
-- USA Today
STATISTIC FOR THE DAY
Rate that the brain processes information, as measured by the speed that
nerve impulses travel along neurons, in miles per hour: 40
-- Terence Hines
STATISTICS FOR THE DAY
Current inflation rate in Yugoslavia, percent per day: 20
Largest denomination bill issued by the Yugoslavian government,
in dinars: 10,000,000,000
Worth of this bill in dollars: 6
-- USA Today
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
The good side of sin is you can tax it.
-- Dennis McCann
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
The rules about playing [golf] with the president are
you don't tell the score, and he always wins.
-- Donna Shalala, Sec. of Health & Human Services
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
You can never disprove an irrational assertion...it is possible
that somewhere, sometime, some reindeer may have flown.
-- Samual T. Gill, Skeptical Inquirer
STATISTICS FOR THE DAY
Chances that a U.S. resident is foreign-born: 1 in 13
Chances in 1910: 1 in 7
--U.S. Census Bureau
STATISTICS FOR THE DAY
Percentage of Missouri's corn crop destroyed by rain and flooding this year: 40
Percentage of South Carolina's corn crop destroyed by heat and drought: 66
-- Missouri Agricultural Stabilization and Conservation Service,
South Carolina State Stabilization and Conservation Service
STATISTIC FOR THE DAY (Intellectual Dialogue Dept.)
Number of "Huh"s tallied in one 30-minute "Beavis and Butt-Head" episode: 653
-- Richard Vega
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
I had a dream the other night. I was playing Pictionary with Picasso...
-- Tony V
STATISTICS FOR THE DAY
Cost of printing Al Gore's report about saving money in government,
using glossy paper and three colors of ink: $168,915
Amount that would have been saved if the report had been printed
on plain paper with black ink only: $114,824
-- Time
POEM FOR THE DAY ("33 1/3 Sized Lions")
33 1/3 sized
lions are roaring at the black gates of Fame
with jaws that look like record company courtesans
brushing their teeth
with would-be rock and roll stars
in motel bathrooms
with a perfect view of hot car roofs
in the just-signed up
afternoon.
-- Richard Brautigan
STATISTIC FOR THE DAY
Distance by sea that Columbus thought lay between Spain and Japan,
in statute miles: 2,760 ("a few day's time with a favorable wind")
Actual distance: about 11,000
-- Smithsonian
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
I have nothing more to prove in basketball. I have no more challenges
that I felt I could get motivated for.
-- Michael Jordan, announcing his retirement
STATISTIC FOR THE DAY
Net increase in U.S. population, per hour: 310
Percentage of increase that is from immigration: 32
-- USA Today
DEFINITION FOR THE DAY
ETERNITY: The length of time it takes to pay off your credit cards.
-- Florence Berglund
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
If you think health-care costs are high now, wait until it's free.
-- Dave Gneiser
STATISTICS FOR THE DAY (More Jordan Facts)
Odds of the Chicago Bulls taking the NBA title this season, before Michael
Jordan announced his retirement, according to Las Vegas oddsmakers: 2/1
Odds after Jordan retired: 25/1
-- WSJ
STATISTIC FOR THE DAY
Estimated percentage of the nation's electricity
that is used to power PC's: 5
-- EPA
STATISTIC FOR THE DAY
Number of citizens of Alabama that are destined to go to Hell, according to
the Southern Baptist Church's "Secret Formula": 1,860,000
-- AP, Birmingham News
STATISTIC FOR THE DAY
Typical number of months it takes before processor (CPU) power doubles: 18
-- Mark Van Name & Bill Catchings, PC Week
STATISTIC FOR THE DAY
Number of states for which a firing squad is one of the allowed execution
methods for condemned criminals: 2
-- Nat'l Coalition to Abolish the Death Penalty, USA Today
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
Every October 31st, small groups of armed children roam from house to house
demanding protection money...
-- Peter Yarrow
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty.
-- Woody Allen
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect from alphabet soup?
-- John Mendoza
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
One woman's misery is another man's pleasure; one man's pleasure is another
man's crime; one man's crime is another man's beat; one man's beat is
another man's TV show [such as "Cops"].
-- Debra Seagal, "Tales From The Cutting-Room Floor"
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
I like to live by the golden rule: do unto frogs and pigs as you would have
them do unto you. It's a sort of "turn the other flipper" approach.
-- Kermit the Frog (Amphibian-American)
DEFINITION FOR THE DAY
BAROMETER: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather
we are having.
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
I didn't set my clocks back [the other weekend]...I feel like I gained an hour
when I left NBC.
-- David Letterman
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
Chance is a word that does not make sense. Nothing happens without a cause.
-- Voltaire (1694-1778)
STATISTICS FOR THE DAY
Number of the 6 living U.S. Presidents that favor NAFTA: 6
...of the 17 living American Nobel-prizewinning economists: 17
-- Andrew Tobias, TIME
QUESTION & ANSWER FOR THE DAY
Q: According to a KRT News Wire article on sexual harassment in Washington...
what allegation did a female congressional staff person make about a male
lobbyist?
A: The article states that the lobbyist "felt free to pinch her buttocks
in the reception area."
Q: Where is that located?
A: Just below the vestibule. It is extremely sensitive.
-- Dave Barry
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
-- Don Marquis (1878-1937)
STATISTIC FOR THE DAY
Number of Taco Bell outlets in Mexico City: 3
-- Taco Bell
STATISTIC FOR THE DAY
Number of breast implant operations performed in California in 1992: 6,000
-- Kathleen Doheny, LA Times
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
No nation was ever ruined by trade.
-- Benjamin Franklin
DEFINITION FOR THE DAY
TURKEY: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain anniversaries
has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude.
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
Gobble!Gobble!Gobble!Gobble!Gobble!Gobble!Gobble!Gobble!AWK?!GacCKKK!nngg....
-- A. Turkey
POEM FOR THE DAY
'Twas the Day After Thanksgiving, and all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse...
-- Anon.
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
I have wasted a lot of my life in the company of treacherous and boring men,
but I've never regretted a moment with a beautiful woman, and never met one
I didn't consider beautiful.
-- Garrison Keillor
QUOTES FOR THE DAY (Vive La Differance! Dept.)
We have to take our communities back. Community by community, block by block,
child by child.
-- Bill Clinton, 11/21/93
Block by block, school by school, child by child, we will take back the streets.
-- George Bush, 09/05/90
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
I took the energy it takes to pout and wrote some blues.
-- Duke Ellington
STATISTIC FOR THE DAY (The Ax Is Quicker Than The Eye Dept.)
Number of episodes of "The Paula Poundstone Show" that were aired
by ABC before it was canceled: 2
Number of episodes of "South of Sunset", CBS: 1
-- Time
STATISTIC FOR THE DAY
Number of known bugs in Microsoft's Word For Windows 6.0
when first shipped in October, 4 months late: 8,000
-- Robert X. Cringely
STATISTIC FOR THE DAY
Ratio of the price of rice that the Japanese government forces its
citizens to pay compared to the world price, in order to support
Japanese rice farmers: 9/1
-- LA Times
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
I'm going to Montana soon;
Gonna be a dental floss tycoon.
-- Frank Zappa (1941-1993)
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
In business, it is a serious if not fatal mistake not to identify your real
adversary. Pennsylvania Railroad saw its competitor as the Chesapeake and
Ohio; in fact it was the airlines. Keuffel and Esser, the slide rule
manufacturer, thought it was Pickett, and Hewlett-Packard introduced the
HP-35 scientific calculator. General Motors thought it was Ford, and Japan
exported Datsuns and Toyotas. It is not a question of underestimating your
adversary, but of not recognizing it.
-- Paul Heckel
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
You can get much further with a kind word and a gun
than with a kind word alone.
-- Al Capone
DEFINITION FOR THE DAY
IDEALIST: One who, on noticing that a rose smells better than cabbage,
concludes that it will also make a better soup.
-- H.L Mencken
LIMERICK FOR THE DAY
Mary donned her figure skates
Upon the ice to frisk.
Now wasn't she a foolish girl
Her little * ?
-- anon., quoted by Jack Smith
STATISTIC FOR THE DAY
Number of ex-Nazis buried in Israel's Mt. Zion Cemetery: 1 (Oskar Schindler)
-- LA Times
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
Three hundred thousand miles per second. It's not just a good idea,
it's the law.
-- sign on the USS Enterprise (Star Trek)
STATISTIC FOR THE DAY
Price of a life-sized computer-controlled triceratops,
from the Neiman Marcus Christmas Catalogue: $93,000
-- Neiman Marcus
STATISTIC FOR THE DAY
Number of U.S. towns named "Santa Claus": 3
-- Harper's Index
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Only 5 more shopping days until Christmas...
STATISTIC FOR THE DAY
Pages of forms an applicant must fill out to be considered
for the position of elf at Macy's in NYC: 10
-- David Sedaris
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Only 3 more shopping days 'til Christmas...
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Less than 2 more shopping days left 'til Christmas!!!
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Yipes!! Very few shopping hours left 'til Christmas!!!
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Only 5 more shopping days until New Year's!
QUOTE FOR THE DAY
If they ever make a movie where a man is sexually harassed, I'm their gal.
-- Sharon Stone, Movieline
NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION FOR THE DAY
I will no longer call my cats Siamese. It's politically incorrect. Their
country hasn't been Siam since the days of "The King And I"... It's
demeaning. It speaks of the white man's subjugation of the the cats of the
yellow man and their subsequent exploitation for profit...from now on,
when someone asks me...I'm going to tell them right out, "No. They're not.
They're Asian-American."
-- Emily Prager
